Politicians’ season to play the fool

Festus Adedayo

Nigerians’ elastic sense of humour was severally patronised in the last few weeks. Though the people knew that whenever electioneering was afoot, all manner of queer occurrences happen in the polity, never did it occur to them that politicians would turn themselves into some kind of Charlie Chaplain, entertaining the people with ribald acts that could make anyone choke on laughter.

You will recall that a few months ago when the Ekiti State election was being conducted, a number of such ribaldry became the opera on display. Ayodele Fayose entertained the people with his vain boasts while pepping the film with his vacuous photo-ops at amala joints.

His predecessor, who was also vying to become his successor, apparently convinced that that was the way to go, also pulled off his doctoral academic robe and sat very close to Fayose at the pig-sty.

Fayose was to take his to the zenith when, on the eve of the election, he paid the suffering people of the state whom he was owing months of unpaid salaries, pittances of five thousand naira which they received as payment alerts from their banks.

Comical Fayose was also said to have deducted the payment when his deputy governor protégé waffled into defeat.

A few days ago, President Muhammadu Buhari launched his own opera of comics. The All Progressives Congress (APC) had stunned the world when it pegged its presidential nomination form at N40 million and Expression of Interest form at N5 million, both totaling N45m.

 For governorship, the nomination form was also pegged by the party at N22.5 million while the expression of interest form went for N2.5 million.

The argument of the people was, why would a government that preaches probity and return to sanity of governance ask its aspirants to go looking for the whole world as symptomised by that humongous amount? If the aspirants eventually clinch the seats, wouldn’t their investments be the first to be recouped?

Now, the comics began. President Buhari told the whole world that he couldn’t afford the huge amount. Pronto, as the Americans say, some funny characters sprung up from nowhere and claimed they had soaped out the fee from nowhere. And Buhari’s EFCC is laughing.

Photographs of the President giving out a leaf of one thousand naira note to each of his grandchildren thereafter surfaced on the social media. As if to best his boss in this ludicrous opera, the Kaduna State governor, Nasir el-Rufai, also announced to the world that he too couldn’t afford the N25 million demanded for his gubernatorial contest form.

 Like Buhari’s, some equally funny folks emerged from nowhere claiming they had el-Rufai’s fee.

As if it was a season to play the fool in an opera that was meant to amuse the public, Osun State also struggled not to be left out of the ribaldry.

A Rauf Aregbesola who had subjected the state’s civil servants to the ingenuously callous novelty of paying workers half salaries for years now, suddenly fanned out August salaries to the workers. Election is this Saturday in the hapless state.

It is in this same state that someone who had F9 Parralel – pardon the lingo of secondary school leavers of yore – had the audacity to attack same Aregbesola claiming that the governor had lowered the standard of education in the state.

Yes, we know that it is a season to play the fool but can’t this cast forewarn us that the Film Director had shouted ‘Action!’?